KIDSSSS...

Kids . . .

are more than just what you see in them

they make you laugh as well as cry

they can teach you the most valuable lessons of all

they are the best to have when you think of changing who you are to the better

they can discipline you more than you can ever imagine

more lovingly than you will deal with them

yes, kids....

I LOVE THEM.

Facing Up to the challenges of life

There are so many challenges that we face each day. Sometimes, these challenges are everyday decisions that you have to make thus seems so normal. But, there are other challenges that would really make us feel so alone, so small and so useless. Yet, we are more than conquerors.

AS WE CONTINUE TO BATTLE THESE CHALLENGES, LET US NOT FORGET THAT GOD IS OUR STRENGTH.

The best men in the Philippines

Leonard Woods, a governor general of the Philippines during the American regime once said, "The best men in the Philippines are the women." Absurd for someone who would take the words literally but as i continue to ponder on it, i know, i agree with him.

I grew up in a family with my mother as my mother and my father. She raised us up as normal kids and was even able to send us to school given the very limited resources that she had. And the man of the family - our father - he was somewhere making another family which will later on be under my mom's care. He died leaving nothing for his children even the children he bore down in Mindanao.

When i married, my husband had to go abroad to find work as a factory worker though he had been one of the best student teachers during our time. He abhorred doing the papers and so he went. I was left with a girl barely two years old and i was pregnant with our second. For most of my married years, i was alone raising my kids though of course, he usually sent financial support.

I hated it at first. I would terribly miss him and my only consolation was having my kids around to distract me from falling into a great depression. But, i also learned to depend on myself. I learned to stand on my own and not depend on a husband who may not be around to hammer the nail or even to carry bed. I may be a woman but i can also do the work of a man.

Yet, while i was glowing in my achievements as a man and a woman of the house, i forgot that my husband is but a man in need. Until one day when i came to realize that he was calling less and less until less is never even for about two or more months. I contained myself and prayed that things will be fine and things will go back to normal. But then, what is normal to us may not be normal to others. Yes, a normal family would come together in the morning for breakfast and in the evening for dinner but we never did that.

Until last night.... I was about to go to bed when a sudden realization slapped me right in the face. I was in Grade III when my father left us. My daughter is in Grade III now. Will it be history repeating itself? At least for me before, it was a great relief when my father finally went coz my mom can now lay down to rest at night not afraid of somebody waking her up with a punch in the wee hours of the morning. However, how about my daughter and my son? They can't say it's a relief. Even if their father had not been a physically present father, they have been in touch with each other so much so that i know they are hurt more than i am.

However, i am still one of the best men in the Philippines. Women can stand up and still prioritize their children more than their hurt. Yes, that is why they are the best men - an example of strong faith, muscled responsibility, cushioned comfort and so on. They don't just rely on tomorrow, they work for tomorrow whether the man of the house is present or not.

This then is a call for the women left by their men - BE A MAN. Tomorrow is a better day.

Life is death and death is life

The past year had been a year of deaths that touched me not only outwardly. In February, my cousin died of cancer in Bicol. I had to leave my student attending the National Schools Press Conference in Baguio just to attend to attend the burial in Daet, Camarines Norte. That was my first time to go to Bicol - but what a reason to visit. We really thought of visiting him during the summer but he did not wait for us.

By the end of August, my father was murdered and robbed in Masbate. I was not really emotionally affected by his death since he left us since we were children. But, i was horrified by the way he was murdered. He was hog tied then was hurt with a pointed knife, afterwhich, he was shot in the eye. He did not die because he was shot but he died because of bleeding and because nobody took the heart to help him.

By the end of September, another woman in my life bade farewell. I had been planning to visit her but the short span of time i spent in baguio never allowed me to do so. i was so sorry when i learned that aunt rhoda bondad died. in a way, she had been a mother to me since she had been helping my mom in so many ways especially financial when we were still going to school.

Then another tragedy happened again in November. Another father to me died. Uncle Francis Buyagan who rode the Besao jeepney from Bontoc died on arrival at the Bontoc General Hospital when the jeepney they are riding fell upon a ravine along the Pegew Road. Whoever will see where they fell cannot truly explain what happened. There were other eight people who died either on the spot or in the hospital and one died later this january.

December did not leave us with no death. My cousin, the last first cousin i have in my father's side, died due to internal bleeding. We just reached Baguio to attend a cousin's wedding when the news reached us so the next day, we came back straight home. Good, we had a free ride from Baguio. We buried my cousin, Dante Degyawi, the brother of my cousin who died last February on December 31.

Then the tragic news of our batchmate zennia aguilan was heard. of all people, she was killed by a stray bullet when guards were trying to block the suicide bombers who were entering the serena hotel she was working at afghanistan. what a tragic way to die. she died so far from us. but i hope it will not just end as a death but i hope it will further bring us to realize the extent of the terrorism. she was the first death victim due to terrorism in Sagada, Mountain Province and in CAR.

Just after the fiesta, we were taken aback by the news that one of our students who had been missing for two weeks was found rotting already in "Baw-eng." We passed by Baw-eng last fiesta and sometimes a smell would overwhelm us but it never occurred to us that smell is a rotting body. He was directly brought to the cemetery. Whether it was really suicide or with a foul play, it is still to be investigated.

I hope March will come and go without any other unnatural deaths. My heart is already stoned with so many deaths that i don't know now what to expect. But life is here to be lived - let us live it always ready for the sting of death knowing that death is a door opened for us to enter heaven.

But, just as the sun comes up after it sets so will life sprout after death.