Teaching is really the most exciting job one can have for while teachers are living in reality, they also have the power to create experiences that may make or unmake the future of their students.
As a teacher who actively stayed in the classroom for at least ten years, I have been a student myself. I took a course not offered in any other universities except in the University of Life in the world of teaching. I had great mentors who may have been there with me in person or are already in the life beyond. Of course, the greatest mentor is always my greatest friend, the father of all teachers - Jesus Christ.
After I have exerted efforts, the question they will still ask me is, “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?” On my first years of teaching I was always hurt with the question and I would like to shout to them, “Have you not seen me slaving myself just to teach these students? Have you not seen me checking their papers and writing my comments on each of them? Have you not seen me preparing my lessons and making the lesson interesting enough for the students to actively listen to and not fall asleep? Have you not seen me giving my best? Have you not even thought of me and my comfort? I have not gone to many night time and week end social gatherings just so that I could prepare for my lessons and strategies that could be suited for my students. I have exerted efforts asking the help of others either financially or in kind so I could show my students that there is life beyond the community, that there is life beyond the schools. I have jeopardized my image and explored the possibilities of bringing my students out to the open fields for I believed that learning is never confined in the classroom. And, sometimes I even jeopardize our budget for the month by pinching some just to make my class happier or to reward my students for jobs well done. Yes, I have done all of those and beyond, YET YOU STILL QUESTION ME ON WHAT I HAVE DONE?
I have not slept on my job for sure but the questions kept on ringing. I tried to keep my stand that I have done everything, that there are no ways to improve but my mentors kept on reminding me the same question that would keep me awake at night. They have not forced me to accept that my best was not good enough, they have not forced me but they have gently prodded me to check on my reasons for being a teacher. Their ways are gentle and the lessons it left are life changing. I started questioning myself and my reasons for being a teacher.
If I have done my best, why are some students dropping out? If I had given my all, why are some of my students getting absent every now and then? If I have done my best, why don’t all my students perform well? If those are the best, why are some of my students not graduating or some are failing and not passing the grade? I started questioning myself until the questions became very intense and I came to a resolution that THERE ARE STILL SO MUCH THAT I COULD DO ASIDE FROM WHAT I HAVE BEEN DOING. Aside from the daily routines of teaching, there are still much to be done. And, consciously or unconsciously I started to do things beyond what ordinary teachers do. Truly, acceptance is the start of improvement – the start of changes leading to improvements.
Out of the many things I have done as a teacher are three challenges I can never forget and where I have learned so much from. I had a student in my advisory class who comes in late and gets absent without any clear reasons. I tried talking to him but he refuses to give me sensible answers. Together with some of his friends, we visited him at home but still he does not give us any clue on how to help him. I remembered that I may not open my problems up to any other person but I open up on my journals. At those times, using a journal is not a common strategy and so I was afraid to introduce it for we might not be doing it right. But, as I was also teaching Values Education then, I thought of using this strategy taking into context that values are caught and not taught and the fact that whatever we experience – good or bad – has its own purpose. I assured them that I will only be the one to read their journals and nobody else. The essential questions that they will answer are, “What happened? What are my reflections on what happened? So, what will these mean to me as a student, a family member, a friend, a community member?”
At first, the students were so cautious in answering. They would not want to reveal anything to somebody they will not trust. But, as they saw that I was serious with me being the only one reading their journals, slowly they confided their deepest secrets, their hurts, their plans, their what ifs. And, even the student who has not wanted to open up to us and even to his family crumbled down and opened up his problems. He had wanted to drop out, to live far away from all the people around or not to live at all. He lost his purpose for living. All he wanted was to get out from this world. He was even entertaining suicidal thoughts since he feels he does not belong and nobody cares for him. I was astounded. Since I usually read their journals when everybody else in the office went home, I put down my ballpen and mulled over what he wrote. A big realization overcame me. So, it is really true that even if there are people around us, we can still be left out and even if there are people who love us, we can still feel unloved.
The realization made me too tired but it also activated my mind to find other applicable approaches that could be used for this particular student. I visited him at home, made a point to let him know I care for him as an individual, assured him that there is a life beyond the problems he is facing. I also asked him not only once to stay beyond office hours. Since we teachers and even the school head share the faculty room, there is no privacy so we have to find other places like below the trees where we could talk and not be disturbed by anybody. I talked with his family and together we sat down to try to figure out how the student became such. It took weeks and months but in the end, he did not drop out or committed suicide but instead he finished his secondary school. He may not be an extra ordinary student but he sure epitomizes the situation of the young learners. He, like all other youngsters or any person for that matter carries with him a situation which may either cost his life or make him a better person. The teacher then has a very significant role in the life of students. Who knows, the teacher might even save the learner from taking his own life if not from stopping to dream and continuously improving himself.
Sagada had always been a hub of education. It had been serving not only people of the municipality but also of the whole Cordillera and even of the different parts of the Philippines. The school where I am teaching has all kinds of learners like people from Kalinga. One very early morning, when we were on our way to school, about five adult males from Kalinga were also proceeding to the same direction. It was an unusual sight since rarely do the iKalinga visit their children in school. If ever they come to visit their children, they would usually not come to the school. Further, Kalinga is a province where the old age “an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth” practice is still alive. I know that their presence means something. When they came to the office, the school head called for me. He explained that the men came to fetch their children so they will bring them home because yesterday, an iKalinga killed an iBontoc. If they will not bring them home, they are the risk of being the object for the revenge – the iBontoc may come and kill them in Sagada.
And, it was February? I started counting the iKalingas in my advisory class and there are three affected. But there are also some from the other year levels. I started seeing my promotional report with red marks indicating students who dropped. I cursed the practice for I am truly aware that for as far as we can remember that had been one of the reasons why very few iKalinga finish their degree. Only the brave and risk-takers will continue their studies away from their village when this thing happens. Without thinking much, I tried persuading the men that the iBontoc will not come here just to kill their children but my words were hollow. How could they believe me when they know their own practice?
Then I started campaigning individually on the men while we were having coffee. Each one refused to give in except for one who pulled me aside and said, “Whatever happens, please don’t just allow us to take our children. If we do, their future will be affected.” So, when the men again started to convince the school head and I to allow their kids to go with them while they can still safely pass through Bontoc and go home, I broached to them a solution which I have not internalized that moment. I asked them to turn over their kids to me and I will watch them like a hawk. They are to occupy a small house beside our own house and I will be able to check for them 24/7. After so much discussion, they agreed and left. Later that night as I was calling for each of their children, I felt the weight of the realization of the solution I proposed. The lives of these young people are in my hands. I am running a dormitory for free just so that they will not drop. What made me propose a solution, more sane people would have never proposed? What could have made me different to even think of such? What will I do if the fear of their parents will really happen and the iBontoc will come and kill them here in Sagada? What will I do then? I was about to give up but the still small voice within tells me to go on and not to give up for this may help them build their future. The routine continued that while we watch them in school, I continue to monitor them at home until graduation day. Three of them graduated for the others are in the lower year levels. One of their parents who came was also present during the times they insisted of bringing their children at home. This parent came near me and simply said, “Thank you so much. Now, I can see my son graduate.” His words were more than money. It seeped into my being and removed all my doubts on the rightfulness of my action. In fact, the students have not formally thanked me. After graduation, they went their own ways and I have not seen all of them since that day except for one. After 10 years, I received a text from an unregistered number telling me that he/she placed an invitation on my table at the office since I was so busy at the conference hall conducting a meeting that he/she was not able to talk to me. I was baffled. I went to my table and saw an invitation to an ordination. I read through and found out that the text came from one of the boys I protected during those trying times. On his ordination, his sponsors are mostly from Kalinga and one of them, accordingly his uncle, is someone I know at the DepEd Regional Office. He was baffled and so are the other sponsors who are mostly from Kalinga on how the celebrant have known me and why would he make me his sponsor. That question brought me back to years ago and to the realization that I have not made a mistake after all. What I have risked before was worth taking and it is now multiplying a thousand fold.
Lastly, I had a student before, who we may call Renz, who had been very studious when he first entered high school. As a freshman, I could say that I was one of his favorite teachers and he would always pester me. I would always challenge him and he finished topping his class in first year. In his second year, a transferee in who disliked me for a reason I really don’t know of came in. This transferee-in, for some unknown reasons, did not like me even before she transferred but it so happened that Renz like her so much. Renz started to follow him wherever she goes and gave in to everything concerning this transferee in. Later on, the transferee in became his girlfriend. For the rest of his high school life, he did not like to talk to me and tried his best to evade me. At those times that he cannot evade me at all, I continued to talk to him. I confronted him one time on why he stopped giving his best. I know that he could do better than what he was doing at the moment but he said, “Where will I use the extra, anyway?” He willingly gave in so that his girlfriend will shine. He was always coming in second to his girlfriend when I know that if he gives his best, he can really outshine her. He did not join other activities. Though he evaded me, I know his pure heart is still there so I still continue to coach him and coax him. I always reminded him that he could be better than what he is already but he refuse to believe me. My coaxing and coaching have not changed him, instead he repulsed me like I was AIDS till they graduated. Whenever I remembered him then, I feel like I have failed and I prayed to God that he will be better one day. Well of course, as to his girlfriend, though I can feel her resentment, I tried to talk to her and bring out her reason for resenting me. But her resentment was just purely because I am me.
The next school year came after their graduation. By July or August of that year, I received a text from an unknown number. It said, “Ma’am, I now realized that you are right after all. If only I could bring back my high school days so I could give my best as you have said. Please let me know when you will come here in Baguio so we could talk. I need to talk to you. This is Renz.” I was overwhelmed with joy. Now, those coaxing and coaching and seemingly ignored talks were not ignored after all. They paid off. This realization was crystallized when I met him. He told me how much he hated me telling him that he can be better, that he can really make the extra, that he had better chances if he had not wasted his time, that I was right after all. I asked him what made him realize that. He related that while applying for something he so desired in college, he was asked a question. And the question goes, “Being the salutatorian of your batch, what have you accomplished so far?” He was dumbfounded. What had been his accomplishments? He cannot think of anything at all for he refused to work for more. Even after the interview, he kept on thinking of his past and as he thought, he thought of his teacher who never gave up talking to him. On that day, he promised me that even if my words did not ring true to him when he was in high school, he will keep them and continue applying them in college and his own life. I can’t help but drop a few tears while laughing that time.
It is really a joy to receive awards for coaching students who win in contests and I have experienced coaching winning contestants but the satisfaction and joy on the essence of being a teacher is not in the awards and citations, it is better embossed on the hearts and life of individuals who are otherwise not given attention by the normal population. Students are also like the pot at the potter’s wheel and the potter is the teacher. His/dents and marks on the child will come out at its own time for the student is like a work of art. Like the pot, the potter can put designs at the different stages of its making and not all marks are appropriate at one stage. Further, there are designs that will only become obvious when the right time comes. That is also the story of the teacher and his/her students.
I know for sure that what I have done as a teacher will never be enough. I am also sure that these stories of mine are also the stories of other teachers. And that though there are thousands more of stories I could tell as teacher, stories of students’ successes and failures, students’ nothingness to greatness, students coming out from their own shell, students shining at my own tutelage, I chose these stories for they have not only taught me a lesson but so much more. It taught me the realities of life and how to face life. For to me, teaching is not measured by the accolades we receive from their awards and citations that we helped them achieve, it is more measured by the students we saved from dropping out, by the life we have spared from being taken at their own hands, by the hope that we build in their own lives. Teaching is more than the experiences we planned to give, more than the four walls of the classroom. The real challenge is what we do outside the plan, outside the classroom, outside the mandates of our duties.
